The Struggles

Today was a particularly rough day composing for me.  I only spent about an hour and a half working and I don't feel like I accomplished much.  I spent a lot of time working with the material that I thought would be useful.  I would come up with a motive or idea and try to develop it or take it a part.  However, my efforts did not bear much fruit.

In spite of all of this, towards the end of my session, I think I may have sketched something of use.  I'll need to work with it for a while and see what happens.  Right now, all I will say is that I like the concept, I am not sure I found all the right notes yet.

I think I need to focus on listening more.  I do put on a lot of music, but I do not always listen intently to the music.  I need to put my headphones on more often and just sit and listen.  As a matter of fact, as I am writing this I am listening to Kaija Saariaho's Verblendungen for tape and orchestra.  Yes, I do have my headphones on.

It's been a while since I've worked on a new piece.  The struggles are frustrating, but it is a part of every composer's life.